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Two and a Half Men
CBS

Two and a Half Men

Ended 2003 · Comedy · 12 seasons

Synopsis

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.

Seasons & Episodes

► Season 12 16 episodes
Season page → 0/16 watched
E01 The Ol' Mexican Spinach 30 Oct 2014
E02 A Chic Bar in Ibiza 06 Nov 2014
E03 Glamping in a Yurt 13 Nov 2014
E04 Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight 20 Nov 2014
E05 Oontz. Oontz. Oontz. 27 Nov 2014
E06 Alan Shot a Little Girl 04 Dec 2014
E07 Sex with an Animated Ed Asner 11 Dec 2014
E08 Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey 18 Dec 2014
E09 Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey 08 Jan 2015
E10 Here I Come, Pants! 15 Jan 2015
E11 For Whom the Booty Calls 22 Jan 2015
E12 A Beer-Battered Rip-Off 29 Jan 2015
E13 Boompa Loved His Hookers 05 Feb 2015
E14 Don’t Give a Monkey a Gun 12 Feb 2015
E15 Of Course He's Dead (1) 19 Feb 2015
E16 Of Course He's Dead (2) 19 Feb 2015
► Season 11 22 episodes
Season page → 0/22 watched
E01 Nangnangnangnang 26 Sep 2013
E02 I Think I Banged Lucille Ball 03 Oct 2013
E03 This Unblessed Biscuit 10 Oct 2013
E04 Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank 17 Oct 2013
E05 Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003 24 Oct 2013
E06 Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants 07 Nov 2013
E07 Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie 14 Nov 2013
E08 Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room. 21 Nov 2013
E09 Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer 05 Dec 2013
E10 On Vodka, On Soda, On Blender, On Mixer! 12 Dec 2013
E11 Tazed in the Lady Nuts 02 Jan 2014
E12 Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball. 09 Jan 2014
E13 Bite Me, Supreme Court 30 Jan 2014
E14 Three Fingers of Creme de Menthe 06 Feb 2014
E15 Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin 27 Feb 2014
E16 How to Get Rid of Alan Harper 06 Mar 2014
E17 Welcome Home, Jake 13 Mar 2014
E18 West Side Story 03 Apr 2014
E19 Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang 10 Apr 2014
E20 Lotta Delis in Little Armenia 24 Apr 2014
E21 Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot 01 May 2014
E22 Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead 08 May 2014
► Season 10 23 episodes
Season page → 0/23 watched
E01 I Changed My Mind About the Milk 27 Sep 2012
E02 A Big Bag of Dog 04 Oct 2012
E03 Four Balls, Two Bats, and One Mitt 11 Oct 2012
E04 You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For 18 Oct 2012
E05 That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam 25 Oct 2012
E06 Ferrets, Attack! 01 Nov 2012
E07 Avoid the Chinese Mustard 08 Nov 2012
E08 Something My Gynecologist Said 15 Nov 2012
E09 I Scream When I Pee 29 Nov 2012
E10 One Nut Johnson 06 Dec 2012
E11 Give Santa a Tail-Hole 13 Dec 2012
E12 Welcome to Alancrest 03 Jan 2013
E13 Grab a Feather and Get in Line 10 Jan 2013
E14 Run, Steven Staven! Run! 31 Jan 2013
E15 Paint It, Pierce It, or Plug It 07 Feb 2013
E16 Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby 14 Feb 2013
E17 Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries 21 Feb 2013
E18 The 9:04 from Pemberton 07 Mar 2013
E19 Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon 14 Mar 2013
E20 Bazinga! That's from a TV Show 04 Apr 2013
E21 Another Night with Neil Diamond 25 Apr 2013
E22 My Bodacious Vidalia 02 May 2013
E23 Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped 09 May 2013
► Season 9 24 episodes
Season page → 0/24 watched
E01 Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt 19 Sep 2011
E02 People Who Love Peepholes 26 Sep 2011
E03 Big Girls Don't Throw Food 03 Oct 2011
E04 Nine Magic Fingers 10 Oct 2011
E05 A Giant Cat Holding a Churro 17 Oct 2011
E06 The Squat and the Hover 24 Oct 2011
E07 Those Fancy Japanese Toilets 31 Oct 2011
E08 Thank You for the Intercourse 07 Nov 2011
E09 Frodo's Headshots 14 Nov 2011
E10 A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes 21 Nov 2011
E11 What a Lovely Landing Strip 05 Dec 2011
E12 One False Move, Zimbabwe! 12 Dec 2011
E13 Slowly and in a Circular Fashion 02 Jan 2012
E14 A Possum on Chemo 16 Jan 2012
E15 The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack 06 Feb 2012
E16 Sips, Sonnets, and Sodomy 13 Feb 2012
E17 Not in My Mouth! 20 Feb 2012
E18 The War Against Gingivitis 27 Feb 2012
E19 Palmdale, Ech 19 Mar 2012
E20 Grandma's Pie 09 Apr 2012
E21 Mr. Hose Says 'Yes' 16 Apr 2012
E22 Why We Gave Up Women 30 Apr 2012
E23 The Straw in My Donut Hole 07 May 2012
E24 Oh Look! Al-Qaeda! 14 May 2012
► Season 8 16 episodes
Season page → 0/16 watched
E01 Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud 20 Sep 2010
E02 A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer 27 Sep 2010
E03 A Pudding-Filled Cactus 04 Oct 2010
E04 Hookers, Hookers, Hookers 11 Oct 2010
E05 The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel 18 Oct 2010
E06 Twanging Your Magic Clanger 25 Oct 2010
E07 The Crazy Bitch Gazette 01 Nov 2010
E08 Springtime on a Stick 08 Nov 2010
E09 A Good Time in Central Africa 15 Nov 2010
E10 Ow, Ow, Don't Stop 22 Nov 2010
E11 Dead from the Waist Down 06 Dec 2010
E12 Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead 13 Dec 2010
E13 Skunk, Dog Crap, and Ketchup 03 Jan 2011
E14 Lookin' for Japanese Subs 17 Jan 2011
E15 Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak 07 Feb 2011
E16 That Darn Priest 14 Feb 2011
► Season 7 22 episodes
Season page → 0/22 watched
E01 818-JKLPUZO 21 Sep 2009
E02 Whipped Unto the Third Generation 28 Sep 2009
E03 Mmm, Fish. Yum. 05 Oct 2009
E04 Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator 12 Oct 2009
E05 For the Sake of the Child 19 Oct 2009
E06 Give Me Your Thumb 02 Nov 2009
E07 Untainted by Filth 09 Nov 2009
E08 Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. 16 Nov 2009
E09 Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair 23 Nov 2009
E10 That's Why They Call It Ball Room 07 Dec 2009
E11 Warning, It's Dirty 14 Dec 2009
E12 Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste 11 Jan 2010
E13 Yay, No Polyps! 18 Jan 2010
E14 Crude and Uncalled For 01 Feb 2010
E15 Aye, Aye, Captain Douche 08 Feb 2010
E16 Tinkle Like a Princess 01 Mar 2010
E17 I Found Your Moustache 08 Mar 2010
E18 Ixnay on the Oggie Day 22 Mar 2010
E19 Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave 12 Apr 2010
E20 I Called Him Magoo 10 May 2010
E21 Gumby with a Pokey 17 May 2010
E22 This Is Not Gonna End Well 24 May 2010
► Season 6 24 episodes
Season page → 0/24 watched
E01 Taterhead Is Our Love Child 22 Sep 2008
E02 Pie Hole, Herb 29 Sep 2008
E03 Damn You, Eggs Benedict 06 Oct 2008
E04 The Flavin' and the Mavin' 13 Oct 2008
E05 A Jock Strap in Hell 20 Oct 2008
E06 It's Always Nazi Week 03 Nov 2008
E07 Best H.O. Money Can Buy 10 Nov 2008
E08 Pinocchio's Mouth 17 Nov 2008
E09 The Mooch at the Boo 24 Nov 2008
E10 He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited 08 Dec 2008
E11 The Devil's Lube 15 Dec 2008
E12 Thank God for Scoliosis 12 Jan 2009
E13 I Think You Offended Don 19 Jan 2009
E14 David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie 02 Feb 2009
E15 I'd Like to Start with the Cat 09 Feb 2009
E16 She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime 02 Mar 2009
E17 The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'? 09 Mar 2009
E18 My Son's Enormous Head 16 Mar 2009
E19 The Two Finger Rule 30 Mar 2009
E20 Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau 13 Apr 2009
E21 Above Exalted Cyclops 27 Apr 2009
E22 Sir Lancelot's Litter Box 04 May 2009
E23 Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth 11 May 2009
E24 Baseball Was Better with Steroids 18 May 2009
► Season 5 19 episodes
Season page → 0/19 watched
E01 Large Birds, Spiders, and Mom 24 Sep 2007
E02 Media Room Slash Dungeon 01 Oct 2007
E03 Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo 08 Oct 2007
E04 City of Great Racks 15 Oct 2007
E05 Putting Swim Fins on a Cat 22 Oct 2007
E06 Help Daddy Find His Toenail 29 Oct 2007
E07 Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room 05 Nov 2007
E08 Is There a Mrs. Waffles? 12 Nov 2007
E09 Tight's Good 19 Nov 2007
E10 Kinda Like Necrophilia 26 Nov 2007
E11 Meander to Your Dander 17 Mar 2008
E12 A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh 24 Mar 2008
E13 The Soil Is Moist 31 Mar 2008
E14 Winky-Dink Time 14 Apr 2008
E15 Rough Night in Hump Junction 21 Apr 2008
E16 Look At Me Mommy, I'm Pretty 28 Apr 2008
E17 Fish in a Drawer 05 May 2008
E18 If My Hole Could Talk 12 May 2008
E19 Waiting for the Right Snapper 19 May 2008
► Season 4 24 episodes
Season page → 0/24 watched
E01 Working for Caligula 18 Sep 2006
E02 Who's Vod Kanockers? 25 Sep 2006
E03 The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress 02 Oct 2006
E04 A Pot Smoking Monkey 09 Oct 2006
E05 A Live Woman of Proven Fertility 16 Oct 2006
E06 Apologies for the Frivolity 23 Oct 2006
E07 Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head 06 Nov 2006
E08 Release the Dogs 13 Nov 2006
E09 Corey's Been Dead for an Hour 20 Nov 2006
E10 Kissing Abraham Lincoln 27 Nov 2006
E11 Walnuts and Demerol 11 Dec 2006
E12 Castrating Sheep in Montana 08 Jan 2007
E13 Don't Worry, Speed Racer 22 Jan 2007
E14 That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami 05 Feb 2007
E15 My Damn Stalker 12 Feb 2007
E16 Young People Have Phlegm Too 19 Feb 2007
E17 I Merely Slept with a Commie 26 Feb 2007
E18 It Never Rains in Hooterville 19 Mar 2007
E19 Smooth as a Ken Doll 09 Apr 2007
E20 Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot 16 Apr 2007
E21 Tucked, Taped, and Gorgeous 23 Apr 2007
E22 Mr. McGlue's Feedbag 30 Apr 2007
E23 Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin' 07 May 2007
E24 Prostitutes and Gelato 14 May 2007
► Season 3 24 episodes
Season page → 0/24 watched
E01 Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts 19 Sep 2005
E02 Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover 26 Sep 2005
E03 Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark 03 Oct 2005
E04 Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs 10 Oct 2005
E05 We Called It Mr. Pinky 17 Oct 2005
E06 Hi, Mr. Horned One 24 Oct 2005
E07 Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop 07 Nov 2005
E08 That Voodoo That I Do Do 14 Nov 2005
E09 Madame and Her Special Friend 21 Nov 2005
E10 Something Salted and Twisted 28 Nov 2005
E11 Santa's Village of the Damned 19 Dec 2005
E12 That Special Tug 09 Jan 2006
E13 Humiliation Is a Visual Medium 23 Jan 2006
E14 Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded 06 Feb 2006
E15 My Tongue Is Meat 27 Feb 2006
E16 Ergo, the Booty Call 06 Mar 2006
E17 The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer 13 Mar 2006
E18 The Spit-Covered Cobbler 20 Mar 2006
E19 Golly Moses, She's a Muffin 10 Apr 2006
E20 Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro 24 Apr 2006
E21 And the Plot Moistens 01 May 2006
E22 Just Once with Aunt Sophie 08 May 2006
E23 Arguments for the Quickie 15 May 2006
E24 That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite 22 May 2006